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Saturday
Sep182010

Not Wanting it to End

For the first time in a while, I felt like we were a family. I felt that life was balanced and everyone was happy. Too often lately I have felt like my life is divided into pieces, and it ends of tearing me apart. Today was different. I felt more loved, more at ease knowing that I wasn't pulled in different directions. And at the end of the day, I received the perfect text from Honey saying what I most needed to hear.

Being in this no-mans-land between dating and marriage is hard on me. Add to that the screwed-up post-divorce workings of my brain and I feel like an emotional mine field. The sane side of me wishes we'd make the leap; the non-commital freak side waits for him to walk away. I think the hardest part is that we don't talk about it, but at the same time, my emotionally scarred side likes it that way.

But today I was at peace. I just really don't want it to end.

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