Feeling More Like Mommy Dearest than June Cleaver
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 9:40PM Have you ever felt like you're just a puppet and somewhere your master is laughing his ass off? I do. Often.
When I felt like I was good at the whole "marriage" thing, someone yanked a string and said, "Now try dating!"
Just when I felt I had mastered the art of raising kids, someone said, "Ha Ha, now try pre-teens...alone!"
I was a stay home Mom rockstar, now I'm more like the rockstar's overworked, under-appreciated assistant.
For the past couple of weeks, I've felt like I'm failing miserably at life. The kids feel like all I do is nag, I feel like Honey wants to run for the hills, and I am sinking in a pile of shit at work.
I've always been a firm believer in balance. When life seemed off-kilter, I could make a little adjustment and return balance-and peace. Now I feel as though every slight adjustment I make just causes a misalignment elsewhere.
I try to get the boys to be more responsible with their chores and homework, and end up feeling like Joan Crawford. This parenting alone shit sucks! How exactly do you discipline and enforce rules AND be the caring loving one-all the time. I'm clearly missing out on some secret trick of the trade.
I try to spend a little more time with Honey. That obviously fails as it leaves the boys feeling like I never hang with them, AND I'm typically just fucking up one thing or another anyway. I try to make him dinner cause he's working late, only I don't get it done in time. I take off early so I'll have time to cook on a busy night, and someone else rearranges my plans. I seriously can't think of one reason he is with me. AND, I'm glad he doesn't read this blog cause I certainly don't want to point that out to him.
I bust my ass day after day trying to get caught up at work, but something is always in the way. It's usually incompetent coworkers throwing me curve-balls, but that's another rant.
People! I need your help. How the hell do you balance it all?!? Did someone put a hex on me? Is there some kind of chant or dance I can do to get this off me? Must I burn sage and march backward? Seriously, I will try anything to cleanse my life of this perpetual unbalanced-ness.
I used to be good at things. I really miss that.
Reader Comments (3)
Drink more wine? ;)
I wish I could help, but I have been asking myself this lately too. Mine is only 3 and I have only 1, but whew, I feel like I am drowning some days!
I like and do what Mindy says! Drink wine!
Hmmm, are you sure you didn't listen to me talk in my sleep this week???
Goodness, where to begin?
Well, the truth, then. I have NO earthly idea how to balance it all. College, teens, husband, house, food, job... Seriously, I have to pretend I'm in a protective bubble just so I won't freak out with a major anxiety attack. (Hope no one decides I need psychiatric help for that one.) It's helping some, but I still feel overwhelmed. I've even cut out stuff, but the feeling of dropping one of these balls I'm juggling persists.
I miss the days when I was a SAHM and had the world under my fingertips. Nothing happened without my say-so. Now, the world spins out of control and laughs at me as it zooms past. Some days, I think I'm just scared out of my wits.