Desperate Times

It has been quite a while since I posted a blog. I'll blame life. It just feels like I am always moving and trying to sneak in a few moments of alone time. I'm desperately in need of several things at this point-sleep, affection/romance, and "me" time. That being said, I've done a pretty damn good job of getting out of my head and making some changes.

First off, bed times are set in stone. Lord do I love the boys being back in school. I have instilled a strict bedtime and have been enforcing if for myself, too. The days this week that I had plenty of sleep were much more enjoyable. The one night with little down time or sleep led to a very crabby-ass woman passing out on the couch at 9 pm. Now if only I can stick to our new bedtime, I might actually survive (before, I wasn't so sure).

Getting affection or romance is a whole other story. It's just not a good time for that. Honey started his new job, is still working part time at his old job while they close up shop, and has been doing contract work for a third company on weekends. I'm lucky he still remembers my name! However, in one week, we will actually have a few nights alone. My concern is that if I don't get some genuine affection and sweet-talkin' before then, I won't be interested in utilizing that alone time (if you know what I mean). I hate having to have sex on a schedule. What's worse is fitting in a quickie just to fill a physical need that leaves me feeling even more desperate emotionally. Lord do I wish I was the kind of woman who is more physically driven than emotionally, but damn it, I'm not.

"Me" time is something I am considering. Although I am trying to spend as little money as possible, I am contemplating a treat for myself while Rat Basterd is in town. Getting a haircut is a must, but I'm thinking something along the lines of a massage or body scrub. I'm even thinking that I might be all alone on Labor Day. I'm trying not to get too excited. But, I'm really really excited by the thought that I might get to grab my very favorite food (it's been at least 7 months since I had it), and spend the whole day in bed like a slug, doing what I want to do. Not caring for 1 tiny second what someone else wants or needs to do. This day that I dream about is all about me!

No matter what, during these desperate times, I have many blessings and know I'm loved. Now if I could get some sleep, I might actually be able to express that to the ones I love!