A Lesson Learned from a Wise Man

Tonight I was blessed to learn a lesson from a man I knew in, what feels like, an entirely different world. He was one of the first I met when we moved to Colorado years ago when our sons were 1 and 3 yrs old. Now, many years down the line, our lives have both changed in tragic ways.

 I thought I was going to this party tonight to endure accusatory stares and whispers behind my back. Instead, I received hugs and well wishes galore. These people are the ex-coworkers of my ex-husband. They are in a specialized field where everyone really does become family. Once you leave that family due to divorce, you are typically an outcast that no one ever sees or hears from again. For the past 2 years, I have been skirting that line. My friends have stuck by me. And that means that there is occasionally a time when I must tough it out and go to an event like tonight. I kept my mouth shut throughout my divorce except for our closest friends who saw and knew what was going on. The others know half-truths or lies. I have always felt that it was best because these are his people, not mine-anymore.

Tonight was different. The older crowd knows the truth. As one of them once told me, "It was like he just snapped." That summed up my experience entirely. But on with the lesson. It was a lesson that I think all mothers should hear. This man, in his mid-fifties, lost his wife to breast cancer 2 years ago. She was a loving mother, always doting on her two boys. Her family was her life. Tonight, a friend was snapping pictures left and right. When I kept my back turned rather than posing for a picture, he turned to me to teach me a very valuable lesson. He said, "Never turn your back to a camera. Some day you'll be gone and your boys are going to want every picture of you they can find." He went on to explain that his wife had always backed away from the camera, and that he and his sons (now mid-twenties) have sorted through every picture ever to find those of their loving wife and mother.

It was heartbreaking. It absolutely broke me in pieces to hear him talk of the memories they had and the pictures that he could fill books with, but very few contained the one that they loved and missed the most. He said, "Buy a tripod, get a camera with a timer, do whatever it takes to make sure your boys have pictures of you with them." Wow. I am so grateful that I didn't chicken out of going tonight. Only this man, who has known me for longer than most people I know, could teach me a lesson this valuable. I will never shy away again.

Comments

[T]

OMG. That made me cry. :(