More Vodka, please...

The boys are off to Seattle to visit the Rat Bastard. That's how I'm referring to him now-mostly because I can and he is. I think I'm doing good so far...

Day 1:  Held it together pretty good until I walked in the door from the airport and got a call, "I'm looking for _____. I'm calling from Southwest Airlines in regards to Bugger Butt who is flying as an unaccompanied minor (this is where I believe I suffered a minor stroke and heart attack). Turns out it's just a courtesy call. I've never had someone give me a fucking heart attack as a courtesy before. Just as I stopped shaking from that incident, I received a random text from the Rat Bastard informing me that if I am going to fly Bugger Butt unaccompanied, then I'd better make sure he's not a jerk to those accompanying him. Now, Bugger Butt's not the type of kid to cause a problem, but his Dad thinks he's a spoiled brat, so this left me worrying. Dear Lord, is he in trouble with his Dad already? He's the only person I know that would let a 12 yr old talk like a sailor, but give an hour-long ass-chewing to a 10 yr old for putting his elbows on the table. Bugger Butt's prone to getting in trouble when with his Dad, and I'm prone to getting blamed for it. At this point, I reached past the margarita and went straight for vodka on the rocks.

Day Two:  My parents send me a text asking how bad my hangover is...apparently I am predictable.

Day Three: Yay Me! I get to go to a birthday party with all of Rat Bastard's former coworkers. The ones who don't know me call me a whore who walked out on her family. You'd have to know me to understand the humor in this. I'm far from a whore (far, far from it) and...well, Rat Bastard walked out on me. I'm thinking a good shot of vodka will be in order before I hit up this fun affair. Matter of fact, I think I may just throw the bottle in the freezer now! Maybe I should go bra-less or where a ring on "that" finger just to fuck with them all. If they're going to talk anyway, let's give them something to talk about!