The Ugly Truth

On the way to Punkin's orchestra concert tonight, he said something that made me both happy and said. Twelve-year-old boys are good at that-especially mine.

It all started last night when he learned how to tie his first tie. Honey was happy to show him, and he practiced all night. Then tonight, when he was all dressed up and looking quite snazzy, he had me take a picture so he could text it to his Dad. He even willingly posed for pictures next to the magnolia tree out front! He was so proud of himself. But on the way to the concert, he opened up (not a common thing for him) and said that he felt guilty that his Dad missed out on teaching him-that it seemed like a thing a Dad should get to do with his son.

First, this made me happy because my 12 yr old, who has spent most of the past 9 months trying to shut me out, opened up to me. We have been through some rough times ever since his Dad made the choice to move out of state. Him telling me how something made him feel was a huge step in the right direction, and a pleasant reminder of how our relationship used to be.

Then, this pissed me off because he shouldn't be the one who carries the guilt. His Dad didn't just move, he begged to be relocated. He ignored the boys feelings and made the whole process as long, and as miserable, as possible for them. This is a highly intelligent man, with a great job. I believe the exact words used to describe him in court by the CFI were, "extremely competent yet continuously makes decisions that are clearly not in the kids best interest."  He really has no excuse for his loser-ness. That fucker should feel guilty every waking moment-not Punkin. But, it would be just like him to make Punkin feel guilty about something like this. 

Now, it just makes me sad because this is only the first of many things his Dad will miss. I just hope that Punkin slowly learns not to carry the burden himself and to enjoy his life to the fullest. His Dad is really the one who's missing out.