One of the biggest struggles I've had with this whole "single parenting" thing is finding the right balance between my devotion to my boys and my desire to teach them that the world doesn't revolve around them. I try so hard to keep the boys and H happy, to make sure that they feel as loved as they are. It's pretty amazing to me how much time I actually spend thinking about their moods and ways to make things work better for everyone.
I have never wanted to spoil my kids, to make them feel as if they are the center of the universe. But now that I'm the only one raising them, they are the center of my world. At times I try to balance it all by showing them that I have needs of my own-like sitting down and reading a full page of a flippin' book without being interrupted. But my attempts always seem to backfire; they seem to feel as if they're not wanted.
I just can't quite get a grasp on how to show them all the love and devotion I feel for them without letting them run my life. I have fully accepted the sacrifices a single mom makes, but H and I should also be able to watch a movie or finish a conversation without constant interruption. It's not like these boys are toddlers. But, I guess when it comes to this issue, they kind of are that needy. Problem is, this Mom only has so much attention to apply in one day and their needs seem to double that. Guess it's part of them needing-or being used to having-two parents instead of one.
Maybe someday we'll all accept that we're stuck with just me.